#anyways enjoy my fucked up house
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only in the FROSTBITE realest ESTATE...! because i havent shared how fucked it is yet i dont think and Yes We Got A Pace Painting Texture Pack Thanks Molly
#game screenshots#also YAAAY THE MILESTONE ill talk abt it later im fucking SLEEPY.#this reveal was genuinely SO good!!#even if i still dont like the @rg stuff (dont wanna end u in any tags) - gotta admit the insider reveal was GOOD !!!#and im glad it wasnt dividend king bc everyone was theorizing that even if its. A VERY FLAWED THEORY.#anyways enjoy my fucked up house
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[ID: a digital sketch of Eda and Raine from the owl house. They're in their designs from watching and dreaming, pre epilogue. Raine holds out their arm for an injection (given by a disembodied hand and labeled "magic rabies shot") and Eda lays a hand on their shoulder and leans her head on theirs. She says "you're doing great Raine! how'd you get rabies tho?". Raine stares dead eyed at the viewer as a thought bubble connected to them shows Belos biting down on their arm. End ID]
I was gonna post a request today but I feel like it's gonna flop and this is funnier. So request tomorrow, Raine Whispers Rabies doodle today
#the owl house#toh#raine whispers#eda clawthorne#raeda#you guys have no clue the stupid shit i doodle when alone or in the company of my irl friends. this was partly their suggestion#you guys haven't even seen baldlos (he was just born today and also no one should see him ever)#anyway I'm so mad that THIS FUCKING DOODLE is the best raeda I've ever drawn. repulsive. why would god do that to me#anyway..enjoy#raine and hunter both being rushed to like. makeshift hospital tents after the finale on account of getting possessed#except when they're there they end up getting treated for completely unrelated shit#hunter had a growth spurt w/ insufficient stored energy/food in his body so he's kinda malnourished atm. raine has rabies (obv)#fun times all around#luz is perfectly healthy after death and resurrection tho! suspiciously healthy one might say...
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Btw yesterday I met a person named Bean who worked at a sex toys packaging factory and we ate risotto and pie
#whenever i go over to my friend Ciaran's house its always so nice and comfy#hes such a good cook and his partner is my other friend alex who is also a great cook!#like 2 years ago i spent new years eve with them and i ate the best fucking potatoes ive ever had#and walked back home drunk under the snow at midnight it was very nice#anyways everyone brought some kind of bread last night lol#host made buns#roy made focaccia and i brought maple and pecan bread because i forgor my friend is deadly allergic to nuts#so we didnt eat that lol#one of the host roomate ate with us and they won a bet on how long it would take us to bring up One Piece 😭#one hour btw#anyways enjoy the evening through my ramblings 👍 sometimes you need to eat a full meal with only trans people around the table#oh and also the cats there were very good#theres Pascal the orange cat#hes a slick little guy#and Misha a very fluffy calico#very sweet little girl
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He said "Fuck this shit, I'm out" I'm crying. Toriyama's Vegeta was so top shelf 🤌
(From Neko Majin Z Chapter 5!)
#dbtag#Idk why Toei didn't lean into Vegeta being a version of Piccolo you could put in funnier situations like Toriyama wrote#He's reserved and professional and proud but JUST immature enough to bite down on a gag that Piccolo would readily swerve#But they take a lot of Goku's chaotic comedy away too in favor of Hero(tm) writing and that is why I keep pulling my hair out aklsjdlas#Toriyama was sO funny and it bums me out so much that the anime derailed how lighthearted and straight up silly the humor is#and replaced it with Misogyny Is Funny and humiliation kinks asjklfhadjk and it's not just my complaints about Vegeta and Bulma!!#“Goku is running away from his very reasonable wife because he is a goofy little guy who doesn't want to do his chores” becomes#“Chichi is Cruel to Goku who is Trying to be a good husband because she doesn't relate to his passions and vilifies him for having them"#which is not their dynamic at all but dudes in the writing room are like “being married is fucking awful amirite fellas hahaha”#but Toriyama was like “Being married is not for everybody but it can be really great if you and your partner are on the same page”#Chichi's reasonable! And Goku isn't romantically wired but Goku can enthusiastically consent to sex and still not enjoy kissing#those things can be and are true for a lot of people! And it makes even more sense if you hc Goku to be aspec (and audhd coded) like I do#Kissing can feel gross and can be a sensory overload for many folks. Doesn't mean they're stupid or innocent.#(although Goku CAN still ride nimbus so idk what Pure entails in this universe askljad)#Like I am the FIRST person to joke and drag Goku about his marriage as an aspec myself but like legit Goten is a Last Night On Earth baby#He knows what sex is. But also between how socially removed Goku is and how Shy and Conservative Chichi it's not out of line#to assume the actual words sex and kiss have never been spoken in that house skljdlajdf I FULLY believe Chichi uses code words#Chichi thinks her son being blonde makes him a delinquent and still uses honorifics with Goku like it is fully reasonable to assume#that the joke of Goku's naivetè centers around the fact that his wife is too embarrassed to talk about Certain Matters in a normal way#While Bulma and Vegeta are slutty hedonistic cityfolk who need jesus (according to chichi probably...and me but I support them)#anyway. point is. Toriyama was funny as hell and Nekomajin is absolutely ridiculous and goofy and has a fully amoral main character#which just reminded me that toei is allergic to letting goku be a gremlin and so vegeta's not allowed to be a gremlin wrangler#even though that's been his job since the day he met raditz alksdjaskljd
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it is beyond infuriating how anne rice seems to insist on marius being a positive force in anyone's life ever. like she can't fully commit to exploring the fact he groomed armand and has repeatedly taken away his consent for what marius thinks is best (take the end of TVA as an example) and just kind of flatly puts it in the narrative. there's not really much interest in how these horrific events make marius come across as the worst because EVERYONE loves him. for gods sake, lestat learns from armand exactly what marius did to him in TVL and then proceeds to go find marius and be super friendly to him in the same fucking book. even armand and pandora, two of the people who have MORE than enough right to hate him, do not. it doesnt feel like shes trying to explore the toxicity of the abusive dynamic he traps them in, it just is there. and like yeah ofc the toxic vampire romance series but i think that this should be handled with more care. and it is not ever really framed in a way that she is interested in exploring how marius should easily be one of the most horrific characters in this series because it kind of feels like sa/rape/grooming/other things of that sort are just put there to further plot and not to really get the respect that they deserve in a medium.
#twist rambles#vc posting#grooming mention#for blocklist sorry im on my im really mad about this fucking series soapbox again#to be fucking honest she treats slavery similar. like its just THERE and the characters doing it dont really feel bad about it (much like m#rius doesnt seem to.. feel much if any remorse for arm.and) and it is just like... ok heres another bad thing with no examination. this isn#a super coherent post but i went a bit forward to see how b&g was handling the arm.and stuff and oh my god. oh im so mad. like i just... i#wish so badly that arma.nds abuse was taken seriously other than haha its sooo quirky that mari.us is in a position of power over him and#provides housing money sex comfort etc for him and is abusing him but hes sooo happy with himmmm. like he fucking sold him into sex slavery#and we are supposed to root for him#ask to tag#sorry this is just. its a very triggering part of the books but its something that i kind of keep returning to to mull over because it is#handled really badly. like i think she was trying to go for a lo.lita vibe (iirc she did actually mention nabok.ov as an inspiration) but#didnt really care enough to examine WHY that is an interesting take on the subject matter. not even to get into pan.doras stuff bc its just#really bad but at least he waited until she was an adult i suppose. like i will give anne one thing that she has characters and (poorly han#led) writing that makes you really think and analyze. which i think is where i enjoy media that is like... this kind of sucks at points but#u can tell the authors viewpoints soo transparently. and u can examine it thru this. like i think thats why i find the gr.ell run of GA int#resting too bc u can telll that man is a libertarian and doesnt respect women. and then claims to do so. its interesting to me. anyways#did u guys know she defended bill clin.ton when the monica stuff came out and victim blamed her. just a funny coincidence.#sorry for the really long tag rant but i am sooo fed up with how she treats this topic forever and ever. bc its been this way forever.#anyways back to reading had to get that out. lmk if u need me to tag this bc its a lot of tws :)
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I can't be depressed, I ate vegetables two days in a row
#my mental health is in shambles lol#I haven't left my house in 4 days#i slept in until 1pm today which I haven't done in a while#the earliest i fall asleep is 2am#im fucking exhausted#it's so fucking hard to get myself to do anything#my brain won't even let me watch the Olympics even though ive been looking forward to the skateboarding competition#this shit is annoying#and it's annoying because i was so confused why this bout of depression happened#but i just got my first normal period after stopping birth control and that shit always fucks me up mentally#and my grandma just fucking died#so yeah not that surprising lol#also my girlfriend is out of town and i was supposed to go with her and it didn't work out so im sure that's not helping my brain feel okay#its just so fucking annoying because i just want to be okay with everything and not break#at least it's not the 'my brain is telling me to kill myself at all hours of the day' type of depression#but this shit still sucks and i hate it#and i don't want to talk with my girlfriend about it because i don't want her worrying about me and i want her to enjoy her time away#and i dont want to talk to my mom about it because actually i dont really know why i dont want to talk to her about it#im gonna be going back to therapy soon so hopefully that shit helps but who knows#anyway brains sucks and grief is weird and hormones are dumb and i miss my girlfriend#but hey at least my brain is letting me eat vegetables again lol#personal
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#vent#vent post#cw negative#Seven’s Public Diary#wish i wasn’t so fucking worthless and useless and stupid and selfish and mean#i am just so goddamn sick of my own bullshit. but i never change#i’m so tired of being weighed down by my 56492 mental illnesses. i don’t like being like this#my sleep schedule is so fucked up again and im tired of this constant cycle#this constant fight and endless effort to stay on a goddamn routine#all i want for christmas is a goddamn consistent sleep schedule#i hate sleeping through the day and being up all night but it’s like my body was fucking built for that or something#i don’t like it!! i want to be an early bird who goes to bed at 8pm and wakes up before the sun rises!!! but im the exact opposite!!!!!!!#i wish i just didn’t need to sleep at all. that would be the ideal. so many problems would be solved.#no i Really wish i just had the ability to fall asleep and wake up whenever i actually Want To instead of my body calling the shots#fell asleep at 9 this morning and im so mad that i didn’t get up when i was woken up at 11#a 2hr nap would’ve been fine and i would’ve made it through the rest of the day and been able to fucking sleep again tonight#but noOOooOoOo i had to give in to the allure of my warm cozy bed and fall back asleep for 9 more goddamn hours#now once again im too awake and rested to be able to go back to sleep. but once morning rolls around im gonna be exhausted again#and i’ll either give in and attempt to take a ‘nap’ and it’ll turn into a 12hr sleep again#or i’ll have to like. walk laps around the fucking house just to keep myself awake through the day#and i’ll be super irritable as a result and make everyone around me miserable too#but everyone is already beyond fed up with my issues and behavior. rightly so i guess. so i lose either way#god there was so much stuff i was gonna/supposed to do today#i don’t know how much longer they’re gonna put up with me being such a deadbeat#you think that’d like. motivate me to get my shit together or something but no. i’m addicted to being unconscious i guess#sleep feels so fucking good. until i wake up. which is funny bc it’s all nightmares and stress dreams anyway. why do i even enjoy sleeping#i guess bc for the first few hours after waking up i experience some modicum of relief from my other mental illnesses’ symptoms#like a soft reset.#and it’s the Only thing that gets rid of my migraines so god forbid i get one of those bc then i Have to sleep regardless of the time of day#anyways! :) that’s enough whining for one vent post. time to go do something productive
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Super heavy vent ahead in the tags
#bird chirps#vent#Talking about political stuff and suicidal ideation#But genuinely I cant anymore with this election. Im fucking terrified#Granted my dad’s a major pessimist and I think he lowkey enjoys others suffering#So his passionate rants about how we have no future and life isnt worth it if Trump wins definitely isnt helping#But holy shit Im actually terrified#Im trying to not crawl into the pit of despair but I really don’t know how life can go on worst case scenario#I cant delay my life four more years minimum for another recession/depression#I cant stay in this house and watch my rights get taken away#Theres just so much shit to be afraid of#And granted I live in a swing state. I think its still a swing state anyway since we tend to vote republican#So the campaigning here gets brutal#But it’s hard to stay positive when it seems like EVERYONE irl is so fucking pro trump#Im just praying theres a silent majority and that isnt the case#But God I cant fucking do this man#Situations where you have little to no control over the outcome are a fucking nightmare#I can vote so at least that’s something. But thats not enough to ease the anxiety#I need the outcome to be GUARENTEED and thats just not gonna happen#So I just sit here as shit gets worse and it’s harder to keep calm#And I dont have a good track record of having Safe Mental Health while in election times#So this just. Really fucking sucks#I hate when I get like this because it feels like such a major step back#And with an event THIS big its hard to push it all away as irrational and a mental health issue#Because my brain goes ‘Well LOGICALLY you WONT be able to go on so this is a correct way to think’#I hate it so fucking much#If Trump wins Ill pick up smoking or something. Fuck it#Deciding on an action like THAT is still less destructive than full on suicide plan#But I just. I cant fucking do this#Can I teleport to 2028 and just pray everythings okay
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me after three days of in-person meetings and team-building activities.
#i understand her completely#that is the face i made this morning at 7:30 and i got up once again to leave my house before 9 am to be social#i am an empty dried husk.#i am a mango seed when you suck all the pulp and fruit off it#it was really nice to see my coworkers cause i work remotely (which is a true blessing)#and i was very proud of myself cause i didnt feel any anxiety going to a work social event/day like I have in the past#it was actually enjoying to interact with people and be social and FLEX those skills that I don’t often get to use#and as much as I like to be a curmudgeon half the time and be like ‘idgaf about what you did this weekend Karen’ you gotta make conversation#there was even someone cute who I hadn’t met before#my grandma and I had a conversation the other day and she’s like ‘so are you dating?’ and I’m like ‘grandma where will I meet a man?’#and she was like ‘you’re right. where would you meet someone nowadays? people usually meet through work#but I work virtually and half the people are married or not cute! but there was a guy in my assigned group who was cute#so I went out of my way to make conversation with him (it was about work and nothing came from that interaction) BUT STILL#it’s a good reminder I *can* have those interactions if I so choose#I was also ovulating though so I think I moving with more hunger shall we say#anyways#i am very very very tired and socially burnt out#i need to go for a long walk. smoke some weed. read fanfic. get off and go to bed. that is my main focus for the rest of the day#thank FUCK it’s friday tomorrow.
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People really reblogging posts saying how the rings of power costumes are bad...bruh. Tell me you never watched the show without telling you never watched the show.
#so tired of seeing fucking hate on my dash#fuck sake to people get off on being hateful since it seems everyone prefers to shit on stuff now#instead of just enjoying things they do like#anyway I had a scrummy dream about Arondir last night so screw all ya haters#you're missing a gorgeous show because you're blinded by a hate cult#sad#theyre probably fans of house of the dragon with excessive swearing nudity misogyny#and the worst fucking wigs in the universe lol#oh and 90% of the show you cant see fucking anything#they cover up their terrible costumes and cgi with a dark filter#but suuuuuuuuuuuuure rings of power is the one that sucks#try again xD#anti hotd
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i was just sitting in the kitchen eating breakfast, having greek yogurt with grape nuts - which i thought was perfectly normal - and my mom cam in and with complete sincerity told me that i needed to have some fruit with it because otherwise i was basically eating plain sugar. am i going insane here
#boink#i went grocery shopping for her the other day and apparently i got the wrong yogurt bc it has too much sugar and fat in it#idk#anyway she got mad at me for eating yogurt the other day too#i had had one spoon of it after stirring it up out of the fridge#and she got all prickly and asked if i ever check the serving size on food#and that i should pay attention to how much i was eating and put it in a bowl instead of eating it out of the container#which i was notable not doing#anyway#she also got upset when she noticed it was the wrong kind and said that i needed to be careful eating it because it's basically candy#and THEN when i got upset abt this she said not to get mad at her for caring#which#ok#but i just#god#i dont know#im the fattest person in my family#when i was a kid one of the traits that i sort of adopted bc people said it abt me was that i was 'always hungry'#even though that wasnt true#that im not picky and ill eat anything which /again/ is not true#and now that im older i can just tell. that people look at me and think i'm gluttonous. like it's a sin right#and i know especially with my family that that's what theyre thinking about me#i already have so much guilt about wanting things and enjoying things#like this year at school i feel like i was doing so well with that kind of thing#and i gained weight of course i did of course#and thats shitty and whatever the fuck but also i didnt hate myself for it a lot of the time?#and now im back in my house and its just like. i dont know#i need to work through things one step at a time#and i just cant#i mean not with everyone watching
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I love them, your honor ❤️🧡🤍💗💜
#the owl house#lumity#luz noceda#amity blight#toh fanart#toh finale#art#my art#fanart#digital art#procreate#TOH ended like a couple weeks ago but I’m still fucked up#yes I did project onto amity in high school and what abt it#also I almost included the background on its own bc I was weirdly proud of the moon 😭💀#anyways y’all enjoy!#literally one of my best pieces ever and it’s bc they’re gay and I’m gay
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I think some of my favorite horror is when the house is going to swallow you whole. This land is cursed.
I haven't made up my mind whether I prefer if "this place doesn't care and with devour you without a second thought" or if I prefer "this place knows you and HATES you".
#so anyway- if you guys haven't played “anatomy” i recommend it. it's free last time i checked#while we're talking about video games “house. wad” is an EXCELLENT one#it blends my love of liminal space horror and “fucked up house” horror#but who could forget silent hill PT!! my beloved!!!#i don't read often- but i also enjoyed house of leaves. house.wad had a house of leaves reference which was awesome#if anyone has more suggestions of “fucked up house” horror things let me know!!#talking trash
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When the "fiction =/= reality" really sets in....
#aka - this guy thats lowkey stalking me showed up at my house again#me: well that was fucking ceepy..... ANYWAY back to stalker Eren fics#(((i called the cops dw)))#and to mr hinge (if you're cyber stalking me too now): LEAVE ME ALONE BROTHER WE WENT ON 4 DATES I'M NOT **THAT** HOT!!!!!#if this isnt evidence that someone can enjoy dark material in fiction AND NOT LIKE IT IRL idk what is
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it’s my birthday tomorrow and i’m so unwell i just don’t give a fuck. lol
#i’ve been nauseous for a week straight and for some reason my balance has been so bad i’m just like. stumbling around my apartment#i’ve left the house twice since tuesday and once was to go to therapy. and once i got back i was so fucking out of it i just went to bed#i went to the cinema tonight and couldn’t eat the candy i bought and i fell asleep for half the movie anyways#i haven’t been able to go to the gym at all. haven’t even been able to go to the grocery store#i’m so sad and so scared 👍 and everyone just keeps telling me how young i am 👍 and to appreciate being young 👍 yeah i’m trying 👍#it’d be easier if i could enjoy one fun weekend without being crippled for a week afterwards#i don’t even know man. despite therapy and time off work i don’t feel like i’m getting better. i feel like i’m actively getting worse#especially after the medication trial. i feel that shit fucked me up so bad i’m still recuperating#idek what to do but i’m so miserable and exhausted and i dont want to deal with any of this
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he's high key hot dripping with sweat (get it).
#i love him so much!!!!!!!!!!!#he's my special little guy#i love this armor but i'm going to forge him a new one soon!!! when i will finish things up#after that i'm pretty much wrapped with act 1 and it's time to kill myself bc i hate the shadowcursed lands#skjdfks#that was a lie btw. i like act 2 but i'm a big wuss so the shadowcursed lands creep me out :(#when i played house of healing last time it was. a lot for me slkjdfkls#but i enjoyed it. i think it's one my favourite parts in act 2#anyway i'm stopping for today!! it's only about 8 pm so not even late#but i prefer to play during the day to not to fuck up my sleep schedule#anyway yeah#i think sirius is hot#oc: sirius#nonsims#bg3 ramblings
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